I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
