M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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