Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
