You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Drake has all the answers
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
