the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
