I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
