Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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