Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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