I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He kissed a someone with a penis
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just high enough for therapy.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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