she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
