The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
