Sponge bath it is.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
