I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
