Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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