...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize