They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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