Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
