love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
