They should really pass out barf bags in church
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
