Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
