I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
