my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
