no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
