I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
