Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
