She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
