In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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