when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
