It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it's like heaven, but drunker
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
