Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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