Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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