i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
