Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i out mim tonsoeep
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
