i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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