she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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