I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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