Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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