you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
