YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
