Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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