Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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