Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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