how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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