dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think I died a long time ago.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Boobs are out for the taking
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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