I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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