I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
