don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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