i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
