is your mom at the bar?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
