Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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