he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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