Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
