We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
