dude i'm inner monologue high
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
