After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize