HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Last time i carry you out of a forest
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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