Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
