Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
