I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize