yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize