It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
