so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
