so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
