dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
