so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
