quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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