So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize