Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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