Your mouth is God's brothel.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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