i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
