you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
