As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
