Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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