We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
