Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Mom said you looked used
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Your cock deserves a montage
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
