so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
