I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My pussy is not your playground.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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