the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
