Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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