I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
