that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The struggles of a small town man whore
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
