well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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