Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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