Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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