Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
