If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
